Surprise ~ 40 and Pregnant

Imagine going to your doctor’s office, feeling stuffed up, thinking you had a sinus infection . . . only to find out you will be stuffed up for 9 months. Congratulations, you are 40 and pregnant! What would be going through your mind finding out this news? This was the news our guest was given after leaving her doctor’s appointment. On today’s episode, I interview the “Matron of MAMA Minded”, my mom, JoJo Moffitt (pictured above, front row, third from left). We discuss her surprise pregnancy (ME), after 5 babies and many miscarriages. Plus, we talk about pregnancy symptoms, thought processes, motherhood, and life as a mom of 6.

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By Joy Czech

Adapted from this podcast by Heather C. Wentz

Anyone who has heard me talk about my mom, JoJo Moffitt, knows that I absolutely adore her. I just think she’s the best. At 77, she’s a teacher, a motivational speaker, a wife, a Nana, and, of course, forever a mom. 

This week, I got to interview her about her surprise pregnancy at age 40, and everything that came along with the news. 

Who was that surprise bundle of . . . well, joy?

You guessed it. 

That baby was ME.

Just a Sniffle?

It started out as just a sniffle. Then, things got worse. My mom couldn’t breathe. She started to feel nauseated from what she assumed was sinus drainage. She was practically snacking on TUMs and ginger ale, but nothing helped. 

After some time had passed, the only explanation she could think of was that she had contracted a sinus infection. She couldn’t handle it at home, so she finally decided to schedule an appointment to figure out what exactly was going on. 

It was a simple enough appointment — routine tests, bloodwork, an examination. She went home and waited for the doctor’s call.

It felt like a formality. She fully expected to be sent off to the pharmacy with a prescription for an antibiotic that would have her back on her feet in the next week, and she couldn’t wait. This had been brutal. 

The phone rang, and the doctor’s voice came over the line.

“Well,” he said. “I think we figured out what’s going on. It turns out that you’re going to be stuffed up for the next 9 months.”

My mom was speechless, bewildered, trying to think of what disease she had contracted that would put her under for so long. 

“Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”

21 Years Apart

When my mom found out she was pregnant with me, she couldn’t believe it. She had 5 other children at home — Tina, Roy, Michael, Jason, and Justin — and had suffered two miscarriages. Her first son had been diagnosed with dwarfism, which had brought with it many appointments and procedures, and her oldest daughter was engaged to be married at the age of 21. 

21! 

She couldn’t believe that she was about to send off her oldest child into the world only to start the cycle all over again. She couldn’t believe that she’d be closer in age to her oldest daughter than this new baby would be.

But, my mom is ever the optimist. She has always found the humor in every situation. So, at 40 and pregnant, she stood as my sister’s matron of honor, carrying me. The pastor even joked that it was just about the rarest wedding he’d ever officiated. 

When JoJo thought about going in for OBGYN appointments again, she dreaded the idea of being the oldest one in the waiting room. She pictured “all these young chickadees” staring her down, wondering why she was there. 

But, at her first appointment, she shared a waiting room with a 46-year-old and a 43-year-old. Mama, if you’re also in your 40s and pregnant, rest assured that you are not the only one. 

That Pregnancy Glow

It’s a phrase you often hear to describe a mama-to-be. 

She’s glowing!

Oh, you can just see the happiness on her face. 

She’s more beautiful than ever!

Sometimes you wonder if they really see it that way. Other times, you wonder if they’re just being polite. In an age of social media, it can be tempting to beat yourself down when your pregnancy experience doesn’t live up to the picture-perfect maternity photos and complication-free experiences. 

For my mom, at pregnancy #8, there were no surprises left aside from, well, the pregnancy itself. 

My mom struggled with acne during pregnancy. 

Her hair was greasy. 

If she was glowing, it was because her pores went into overdrive with the hormone changes.

But she knew it would all be worth it. 

The biggest struggle she had had in any of her 8 pregnancies was weight gain. 

On average, women will gain around 30 lbs over the course of a pregnancy. Of course, there is SO much wiggle room in this number because every body is different and every baby is different.

During my mom’s first pregnancy, she hit the target right-on at 30 lbs. For her other pregnancies, it went something like this: 

• Baby 2: 63 lbs gained

• Baby 3: 83 lbs gained

• Baby 4: 19.5 lbs gained

• Baby 5: 19.5 lbs gained

• Baby 6: 19.5 lbs gained

Yes, you read that right. With her 3rd baby, JoJo went from a size 10 to a 20 in 9 months! It happens, ladies! When she delivered my brother Michael at 8 lbs 11 oz, she even asked the doctor to double check and make sure there wasn’t another baby; she couldn’t believe she had gained 83 lbs for just one. 

It’s experiences like this that are a great reminder not to compare your body or experience to anyone else’s. 

A Bump in the Road

My mom was almost there, about 8 months pregnant, when it happened. 

She was headed home from church with my 5 brothers and sisters, along with another family, when a stolen vehicle hit them head-on. 

It came out of nowhere. The guy took off running.

It was a combination of circumstances that can’t be chalked up to coincidence. The van holding 14 of us (with me in utero) was solid and heavy, not easily damaged. The family friend driving us home was a police/security officer who took off after the man and pinned him on the hood of the car until authorities could take him away. My mom flew into the seat ahead of her, and my brother’s shoulder got wedged under the seat in front of him. 

Miraculously, everyone was okay. There was a little scare when they couldn’t find my heartbeat, but eventually it showed up, strong and steady as ever. Later, my mom found out that when she hit the seat, my breech little body had been shoved up and into the birthing position, ready to go. 

After a few more examinations, her OB gave her the all-clear to fly from Indiana to North Carolina for her last speaking engagement before the birth. 

A Final Scare

She was in the bathroom getting ready to go on stage in North Carolina when, suddenly, there was a gush of bright red blood. 

The first thought that came to mind was, Oh, no! The accident . . . something did happen. 

She called her OB right away. 

“Come to the office,” they told her. 

“But . . . I’m in North Carolina,” she said. “You told me I could go.”

The doctor assured her that it would be all right, that she could finish her speaking engagement with her feet elevated before heading to the emergency room. They never did find out what happened, but confirmed that I was as healthy as ever, and in fact her placenta previa had been negated by the accident when everything got shoved around by the impact. 

The rest of the pregnancy went without incident, and I was delivered safely a few weeks later. 

Holding on to Joy

Before she even knew that I’d be a girl, my mom knew my name was Joy. It’s so much a part of who she is and what she believes. In fact, her commitment to joy is reflected in the titles of her three books: You Can Have Joy Through the Ups and Downs of Life, You Can Have More Joy Through the Ups and Downs of Life, and You Can Have Even More Joy Through the Ups and Downs of Life. 

Through two miscarriages, my mom found joy. 

When her first son was diagnosed with dwarfism, my mom found joy. 

When she struggled with body changes in pregnancy and postpartum, my mom found joy. 

My mom, JoJo Moffitt, has always been able to take traumatic situations and turn them around. As she said in our interview, “Don’t let me miss, Lord, what I’m to learn from all of this. I didn’t go through it to be bitter, but to be better.” 

Mamas, if you are 40 and pregnant, if you have a child with special needs, if you are struggling with body changes or anxiety, or if you are just going through a hard time — cling to joy! At MAMA Minded, we know that’s sometimes easier said than done. And that’s why we’re here — to rally around you, to encourage you, to support you, and to bring you stories week after week that help you feel heard and seen. 

With love, 

Joy